With Just Enough Learning to Misquote

This page is all about quotes, but I will not tell you who by... that's half the fun of it.



  1. -I'm going to go make out in the coat room, don't eat my chicken.~Thats going on your tombstone.
  2. You have bewitched me body and soul and I love...I love...I love you. And never wish to be parted from you from this day on.
  3. I love lamp.
  4. It's so fluffy I'm gunna DIE!
  5. If their not killing the English they're killing each other. [referring to the Irish]
  6. Yeah yeah you did.
  7. We are the most aggressively inarticulate generation to come along since, you know, a long time ago.
  8. Turn it off, man. Turn it off. It's sucking my will to live
  9. -Sure because riding a motorcycle looks cool and all....~But no one messes with a man driving an elephant.
  10. Rick. Rick. Thanks Rick. Rick. Thanks Rick. Rick, thanks.
  11. Bears eat beets. Bears... Beets... Battlestar Galactica
  12. Don't go. I'll eat you up; I love you so.
  13. I have no secrets, only dirty shame.
  14. -ANARCHY!!! ANARCHY!!!~I don't know what that is but I love it!
  15. "Oh, we have a chance to kill the English? Even fictionally we'll take it!"
  16. My pilot's license? It's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked- problems at the Kazakhstan border. I'd give you the details, but then I'd have to kill you... which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.
  17. Then the rabbit said.... How 'bout that schnitzel?
  18. Well sure. He's Brett Favre. [referring to Ulysses/ Odysseus]
  19. We are all fools in love.
  20. Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...Nobody.
  21. Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself.
  22. -I mean you're alone no matter what.~That's right-God. I didn't come here for you to give me some bullshit honest answer. Why can't you lie to me just once?
  23. Sweet Lincoln's mullet.
  24. You smell like sugar cookies and old people.
  25. Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly...she aint yo' ho no mo'.
  26. I'm amazed by life and it's amazed by me.
  27. Why don't you make like a tree, and get the **** out.
  28. Oh the simulated horror.
  29. I'm just inviting you to join me on the bandwagon of my own uncertainties
  30. Because sympathy is boring.
  31. -Hey; Troy sneezes like a girl.~And how bout I pound you like a boy that didn't come out right.
  32. You don't have a soul. you are a soul. you have a body.
  33. You're a smelly pirate hooker.
  34. To take the trail and not look back... let the rest of mankind find me if it could.
  35. -I know I may not appear physically opposing at first blush, but it turns out I have the tenacity of a swiss fox and the instincts of a dragonfly.~You realize one of those is a rabbit and the other in an insect right?-That's why I chose them
  36. I'm in a glass case of emotion.
  37. That's what she said.
  38. -I'm a professor you can't talk to me that way.~A six year old girl could talk to you that way.-Yes because that would be adorable.
    ~No, because you're a five year old girl, and there's a pecking order.
  39. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
  40. On top of it all I'm wearing queer socks, like my feet feel weird.
  41. It's about time somebody scored around here.
  42. Is it safe in here? I think we should evacuate.
  43. Nailed it!
  44. Going to church doesn't make you Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  45. ‎...the world at my feet, the world through the window, is an illuminated manuscript whose leaves the wind takes, one by one, whose painted illuminations and halting words draw me, one by one, and I am dazzled in days and lost.
  46. Knights of Columbus.
  47. I love this drink, it combines my alcoholic tendencies with my love of spiced cider.
  48. Bazinga
  49. Or did you think I didn't know what a ugoogaly was?
  50. -Now I need to know your process. How do we get started?~You really wanna know my process?-Absolutely.~Well it usually starts with a 'holla' and end with a creamsicle.*And if there's time in between... Thundercats. HOo
  51. If you ever want to sound like a creep, just and the word ladies to the end of your sentence.
  52. I prefer to be unsociable and tactile.
  53. Give us a brief version. Like if cliff notes were on twitter.
  54. People that build glass houses, sink sh-sh-sh-ships.
  55. It's washable marker! Well, not after we put it on paper.
  56. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline.
  57. Dirty.
  58. You know what they say... Fool me once- Strike one. Fool me twice...............Strike three
  59. The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible; but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence. Nature never wears a mean appearance. Neither does the wisest man extort her secret, and lose his curiosity by finding out all her perfection. Nature never became a toy to a wise spirit. The flowers, the animals, the mountains, reflected the wisdom of his best hour, as much as they had delighted the simplicity of his childhood
  60. Don't make fun of yourself; that's my job.
  61. -Sorry that was an accident.~So was the 'Y' chromosome but you don't see us throwing stuff at it.
  62. So hot. Milk was a bad choice.
  63. You threw off my groove.
  64. Well that would be most inconvenient since I've sworn to loath him for all eternity.
  65. I like them dirty. [w/ british accent]
  66. Gus, don't be exactly half of an 11 pound black forest ham.
  67. -You can't stay up late when we plan on vandalizing the next morning.~Oh right, I'll remember that.
  68. Oh technology, I loath thee.
  69. By the beard of Zeus.
  70. Freedom lies in being bold.
  71. ~You see what I'm sayin'?-You're saying I could be a lawyer.~I'm saying you're a football player; it's in your blood!-That's racist.~Your soul!-That's racist.~Your eyes?-That's gay.~That's homophobic.-That's black.~THAT'S racist.-Damn
  72. Silence. I kill you.
  73. You should be happy I'm happy [w/ British accent]
  74. You're still hungry? There's a muffin right there; put it in your mouth!
  75. If you're photographing in color you show the color of their clothes- if you use black and white, you show the color of their soul.
  76. You smiled; I'm off the hook.
  77. Don't cross the road, if you can't get out of the kitchen.
  78. It feels like.......okay, I can't remember the song but if I could it would be a really good quote.
  79. Exsqueeze me? I bacon powder?
  80. There's no crying in baseball.
  81. The thing to remember is- if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too.
  82. ‎There is always the temptation in life to diddle around making itsy-bitsy friends and meals and journeys for years on end. It is all so self conscience, so apparently moral...But I won't have it. The world is wilder than that in all directions, more dangerous...more extravagant and bright. We are...raising tomatoes when we should be raising Cain, or Lazarus.
  83. Dwight, you ignorant slut.
  84. Inconceivable.
  85. Facebook is our version of the railroad.
  86. Lay low for a while because you're probably wanted for murder.
  87. I asked Betsy for a band-aid and she gave me a plant leaf.
  88. Dancing. Even if one's partner in barely tolerable.
  89. I'm so there it's inSANE.
  90. Great Odin's raven.
  91. Actions speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
  92. If this were ancient Greece, you'd all be at home being pregnant and behaving yourselves.
  93. Whaaa?
  94. James Dean taught me not to speed, River Phoenix taught me not to DO speed, and Marlon Brando taught me to slow down on the cheeseburgers.
  95. Cool. coolcoolcool.
  96. Then BAM! I'm like the tiger lady
  97. Dance like you're hurt, work like no one's watching and love like you need the money.
  98. Quick! Stop the kid in flannel.
  99. -You know class started at 8:50 right?~AAAaaahhhhhhHHH! [Throws book] I loath single chapel days.
  100. -She drank?~Something chronic.
  101. Lost in their pagan..... lostness.
  102. I think God answers me in garbage.
  103. You have to think of yourselves more than little knowledge cups waiting to be filled.
  104. I'm totally an English snob...I'll admit it.
  105. -I'll do it, I'll fill up your buffer~That's what she said.
  106. My father always used to say, "Don't raise your voice, improve your argument." Good sense does not always lie with the loudest shouters, nor can we say that a large unruly crowd is always the best arbiter of what is right.
  107. I'm going to mark my body with all the beliefs written in your love.
  108. Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life.
  109. Whatever you do in life is insignificant, but it's very important that you do it.
  110. Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state- I finally won out over it.

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