Bikes, Next Time, We Get Bikes

Get ready for this blog- it's as long as Versailles is big....
Versailles was HUGE. Nevermind that last time Christy describe the ability to get stuck spending all day in a garden and it turned out to be more like a half hour tour, this place was more on par to what I was imagining.

Getting to Versailles was easy in theory and Christy educated us several time on making sure we took the proper trains to the Chateau de Versailles-RIVE GAUCHE. But when it cam edown to game time I dropped the ball. While Tanya did a fantastic job navigating, I crashed every time I sat down and completely neglected to make sure we were indeed on the line going toward rive gauche. After riding the train for near an hour, we reassessed the handy map that Christy provided us with and realized we were about where we should be... IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. Serves me right for sleeping everywhere I sit.

So we pulled off and switched directions giving us another hour before we arrived, but when we did the first thing we spotted was a Starbucks. I was fighting my aversion to that particular american chain at every turn and I'm actually not ashamed to say that I gave in. Since Tanya works at Starbucks she can apparently claim a free drink at their establishments anywhere on earth- she chose hot cocoa.  

Working our way up to the chateau that early in the morning made us realize- this cobblestone must have been a 'expletive' to walk on in those old time shoes.

Once we figured out what line we were in and realized that there was a much quicker kiosk than the 20min we had already waited [kudos all to Tanya on that one], our feet continued what would be a painful day on dirt gravel walkways.

I also realized that if you were European you could get in for free... only AFTER paying 18 Euros to get in. from thence forth I made it my mission to speak in a British accent the rest of our endless meandering on this massive estate.

Our excitement quickly translated to our need to jump for joy and show the world [and Swags] our best iTunes poses.







As you can see, we are clearly skilled and should anyone wish to duel us in this respect, we graciously accept the challenge. These are our interpretations of joy and anger at the vastness of the waterways that ran through Versailles. You could apparently boat on [though not as early as we arrived] but not swim in.

Tanya found her Snowman tree, and we both both agreed that walking on the grass would not validate NBC push ups [because seriously, where are our knights in shining armor with carriages at this point]. Everything was very angular and symmetrically cut and aligned on the main property. It was like some landscaper has some serious OCD.

 

There were beautiful dusty views and lovely places to rest [un-posed of course... ;-] and birds swooping in after our heads....

As I've already said Marie Antoinette had it right. After the monotony of unfamiliar half naked statues her estate was a beautiful relief. Though we were at the starting line of spring and therefore missing a most of bloom, the tangles of vines and curving pathways seemed modeled after natures circular style. 

If you notice above- I'm scared to death of crashing my head through this archway, while Tanya decided to hang from it instead.



Even the staircase looked like it just naturally popped out of the ground and attached itself. I think Snow White either lived here or was the decorator.






Rest assured, Tanya and I did try our best to avoid camera detection while searching for ways to enter Marie's estate buildings, however, no such luck was to be found.

In recompense for the photo that I got of Tanya looking for ways in, I received similar treatment while capturing this photo:





Touche Tanya. Touche.

There were LITERALLY entire pathways lined with statues on grand marble pedestals. Most of them were in weird positions that were either so awkward or bizarre that you couldn't possibly see anyone being able or wanting to pose for these.

            

And the beautiful marble gazeebo inspired our own elegant sculpture poses, while also reminiscing of a very particular moment in Pride and Prejudice, well for me at least.

Admit it. You wouldn't have said no.....

This part kills me every time. I know this isn't placed in France either... I don't even think this scene is filmed there, but I would've been OK had it been raining when I saw it.

Along with the picturesque settings cropping up all over the place, the structure of the buildings was....... unique, and not in the one-of-a-kind unique; sometimes it was more of the I'm-saying-unique-in-my-attempt-to-cover-up-my-uncomfortable-options-of-describing-what-I-really-think. Like the gold.... everything, and the near ducking height passages through ridiculously sized homes.

 

We did enjoy the multitude of windows that would sometimes line an entire corridor from floor to ceiling both at the main 'palace' and Marie's estate.

          

Not so much with the constantly locked gates and roped off wings. Though we must say, their security was first rate.... They seemed to have developed a means of communication in this foreign territory, of which, we tried to infiltrate.

After finishing our tour of the outer grounds and our unsatisfying Angelina's lunch, we accepted that as we were walking back, we had made a horrible mistake it not renting the bikes for a couple hours- they would've proved their worth (which was a really great deal in hindsight) many times over. But we were now fully  prepared to be dazzled by the interior that made Marie Antoinette's extravagance famous.

From the ceilings to the clocks, the mirrors to the mirrors to the mirrors to the... wow these people were vain... to the intricate paintings, this place was fABuLOUS.

The very beginning of our indoor labyrinth was met with the need of a plug in, at least 80 tours in all different languages, as if french wasn't trying enough, and... a forbidden wing.

FLASHBACKS!!!! Tanya was brave (and spritely) enough to venture forth up the darkening staircase, but lo, she found naught but an entrance to the chateau restaurant. That was at the beginning of the tour and after we convinced our feet that they would in fact survive the rest of the day, we explored, navigated, gawked, snickered, and meandered our way back out the gate and to the train.

With our departing photos, as Tanya was amazed to find out- she looked like she was spiking a volleyball, we began our arduous journey back to Montmarte. As much as our appetites for shopping need to be sated, so too were our ravenous bellies needing to be appeased. We found a little food stand (shocking) where we both got a meal of a baguette, a slushie, and shared the most delicious dessert we could ever find. Though I admit that after the fact, it was probably our momentary starvation that was making that judgement and less so our actual, unbiased palettes. 

Having been calmed with food, we endevoured to find a way up to Sacre Coure by bus. Once that was settled, we did a little shopping at a nearby souvenir store and as we both looked around, the store owner started chatting us up- in English- and basically flirting with Tanya (no denying it). To which she got at least one of her shirts for free. Once back to the bus stop, we had to question whether or not our Montmarte bus would ever come. When it did finally come- very late mind you- we prepared for a leisurely ride up the 'mountain'. Unfortunately we got of on the wrong stop and far too early; we debated waiting for the next bus but after the first one was so late, we weren't sure it'd be worth it. By the next stop there was another bus and we made it all the way up. In the painters square I bought and actual painting! Which was basically pen and watercolor and a 2x2 inch framed square, but it was legitimate so I was happy. Dreading now the walk back down, we found A TRAM!!! which Christy had failed to ever mention or point out that our passes worked for. Now down, we began our thrift store thrifting.

We didn't just shop, I mean we SHAAAWPPED! I found a stretchy and flippy blue dress for six Euros and a white lace skirt/dress that I swear I wasn't going to buy because of the price, but Tanya and I had LITERALLY been commenting on other lace skirt and how we (or at least I) wanted one all day. Tanya found some long skirts that she was going to cut to shorter skirts and scarves. Hitting a few more souvenir shops, and a few more and even more near Notre Dame, both Tanya and I finished our gift shopping for the entire trip. Even Better was that even after buying items from one shop, Tanya would walk in behind me and purchase something that she would ALWAYS get a discount on or something extra for free. As much as I love you Tanya, when those guys were complimenting your accent, after only saying "Bonjour", they were lying. As we both noticed, the 'Tanya discount' never worked for me

At least I found what I wasn't looking for- The most perfect bag (and for lack of calling it a purse, I only refer to it as 'The Satchel'). I hadn't, up to that point shopping on Montmarte, seen a bag like this before or since, and as I struggled whether or not to buy it, because it wasn't cheap, I realized that this wasn't just another 'souvenir'. It is a canvas satchel with that was originally a canvas green color and a black and white striped shoulder strap. But the front flap was painted- and I mean REALLY painted; you could feel where the tree paint was used too much and it pricked up and dried leaving a funky but realistic texture. I came to the conclusion that it must have been painted in the artist's square only a few blocks up from where I unearthed it.

From there we hit Notre Dame at sunset, which was glorious despite the fact that we didn't get in and so Tanya had yet to be inside my only favorite chapel out of the numerous that I saw. But for me, it's magnificence is as much on the outside as it is on the inside.



Tanya pulled me across the Seine to see one of the coolest stumbled upon finds I think one might get when living in Paris- Shakespeare and Company. The bookstore is floor to ceiling, wall to wall STACKED with books and nooks for reading in. It is also owned and run by a British family I think, so we could actually speak English, unfortunately, the book prices are fairly normal to a Barnes and Noble, so as much as I wanted to buy out the whole store, I contented myself with some great advertisement worthy photos...

Pulling ourselves through a few more shops and chasing down the train back to Melun, I believe both Tanya and I were fairly proud of our stamina and finds for a confusing and jam packed day of Parisian tourist fun!